


Darkness

by tellmemore



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Abduction, Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-15
Updated: 2015-03-15
Packaged: 2018-03-18 00:45:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3549791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tellmemore/pseuds/tellmemore
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke had never been afraid of the dark, or so she thought. Now, after spending what felt like months surrounded by nothing but dark shadows, she was pretty sure that was just because she’d never truly known what it was.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Darkness

Clarke had never been afraid of the dark, or so she thought. Now, after spending what felt like months surrounded by nothing but dark shadows, she was pretty sure that was just because she’d never truly known what it was. True darkness was all-consuming. It left you with no distractions, with nothing to divert from the fact that you were utterly terrified. It left you with no way out of feeling pain, or hunger, because with the removal of sight all other senses were amplified. 

However, what was perhaps even more terrifying is that the darkness she’d grown to fear still felt safer than the light she used to desire. When she first arrived here, she wanted nothing more than to be reunited with the daylight. She’d come to learn that those reunions, rare as they were, were nothing to be craved. Everytime he took her from here, he hurt her in ways she never could’ve imagined. The darkness was horrid, terrifying and paralyzing, but it was better than the alternative.

She still ached from her last encounter with him. She couldn’t see the bruises, but she still felt them. The outlines of his hands on her forearm, her neck, her hips. The desire to wash him off her was overwhelming, but the last time she’d seen the inside of a shower seemed like a lifetime away. 

Why was she here? She had no idea. She woke up one day to nothing but dark shadows. She felt her way around the room, had grown accustomed to it’s dimensions, but was still none the wiser about her location. The room was 12 paces wide and 32 paces long, she walked it’s outlines everyday after waking up and before doing her exercises. She’d learned it was important to have a routine. When she first got here, she’d been lost. She’d spent the first weeks doing nothing but crying and screaming all day, until she finally passed out, exhausted from the effort. She soon learned that was the sure way to drive herself insane. Her days had come to revolve around the fear of him coming to take her to the room where he hurt her. She wouldn’t give him the pleasure of scaring her into insanity. 

So she paced, and she did her regular exercise intervals. In the afternoons, she sang songs she remembered from her childhood. Everyday, she ate three meals, even if he did not bring her food. She sat down at the side of her bed, pretending it was a table, and she imagined herself having dinner with her parents, or lunch in the library, or breakfast at her favourite coffeeshop. Some might have considered this routine insanity as well, but to Clarke, it became the only thing that allowed her to hold on to herself. If she hadn’t pretended to be the girl she once was, she was pretty sure she would’ve lost her. 

\--

Clarke lay in bed, unmoving. Even if she’d wanted to get up, she wasn’t sure she could have. This time, she was pretty sure he succeeded in breaking her. All the times before, she was able to tune out as he had his way with her, but this time was different. He went further than he ever had. He didn’t just beat her or touch her, he made her feel like she deserved it. 

She had always been the kind of person that liked to overthink things. It was in her nature to blame herself for things she could not control- she knew this about herself, she just couldn’t seem to stop doing it. So, when her dad had died, deep down she blamed no one but herself. He’d been getting her a birthday present from the mall when it happened. Of course, the car accident was something she could’ve in no way prevented, yet she felt as though it was solely her fault. 

After it happened, she alienated herself from everyone she used to love. She pushed through med school and art classes, excelling at everything she was doing, but not really aware of anything that was happening. She lived in a haze of self-loathing. She was unhappy.

Then she met him. At first, he was kind to her, brought her coffee in the library and studied with her. After a while, she started to confide in him. She grew closer to the boy with the beautiful eyes, letting her walls tumble down brick by brick to let him in. 

She didn’t notice it when it was happening, but looking back she realized it was when he entered into her life that she really started to slip. As she opened up to him, he made sure she closed herself up even further to everyone else. He’d make her spend time with him, and everytime she’d make other plans he’d find a way to make her feel bad and cancel them. 

A month after they became ‘official’, he hit her. Clarke was not the kind of girl to let herself be beaten, so she punched him right back in the face and left. After that, he started to show his true colours. He was no longer sweet and kind to her, he was horrid. He sent her nasty text messages, camped out in front of her appartment and sat behind her in lectures. She ignored him. He’d come up to her in the hallway and drag her into the corner, and tell her to take him back. She refused, every single time. He was obsessed with her. 

Clarke hated to admit it, but she’d been terrified. She was too proud to ask anyone for help, after all, she’d told her familie and friends time and time again she didn’t need them. So she covered up the bruises he left on her wrists and face after their unfriendly encounters, and went about her day as per usual. Until she woke up here.

She realized then that Finn was more than an aggressive boy obsessed with the girl who wouldn’t let him beat her. He was sick, and now she was at his mercy.


End file.
